Review : Zubeida

[amazon_link id=”B00005KIUM” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Zubeidaa[/amazon_link]Rating : Good (3.75/5)
Genre : Drama
Year : 2001
Running time : 2 hrs and 30 minutes
Director : Shyam Benegal
Cast : Rekha, Manoj Bajpai, Karisma Kapoor, Lilette Dubey, Amrish Puri, Surekha Sikri
Music : A.R. Rahman

ZUBEIDA : Beautifully enacted biographical tale

Zubeida is an almost experimental film, offering great acting, deft direction and a well-crafted screenplay. Benegal presents the tale with all the accompanying emotions, emotions that permeate through to the viewer. An off-beat, but true and biographical story by journalist Kalid Mohammed, is one of the strengths of this movie.The film begins with Riyaz (Rajat Kapoor), Zubeida’s son setting out to research her life, and to meet the people who knew her. The story is thus told in the form of memories/reminiscences. Zubeida is a Muslim actress, who’s career aspirations are thwarted by her film-producer father (Puri) who looks down upon a woman in acting. He arranges her marriage to her friend’s son, but that breaks up after the birth of her son. Zubeida is now back at her parent’s home, sad and depressed. Rose (Lilette Dubey) her father’s mistress tries to cheer-up Zubeida by taking her out. On one of these outings, Zubeida meets Prince Vijayendra (Victor) Singh of Fatehpur (Bajpai). Quite taken with her, the Prince woos and marries her.

Zubeida, now the 2nd wife of a Hindu prince, leaves her son behind with her mother (Sikri) and comes to live at Fatehpur. Here she meets the much older Mandira Devi (Rekha) the Prince’s first wife, learns about the etiquettes of being a Rani, and of the duties her husband has towards his first wife. Zubeida’s relationship with Mandira (whom she calls Mandy didi) is tumultous, seesawing between affection and jealousy. She frets about the restrictions on her as Rani and the chokehold of royal duties on Victor, often venting out her frustrations at not having her husband to herself.

When Victor decides to contest the elections, he relies on Mandira, as his Hindu consort (as opposed to Zubeida), to accompany him on his political jaunts. Zubeida, angry at being spurned, in obstinacy takes a decision, which has fatal consequences.

This film while slow-paced draws the viewer into an intriguing drama about love, life and its illusions. Karisma is stunning as the young and effervescent Zubeida, expressing the young woman’s desires, and zest for life, as well as her negative tendencies well. Manoj Bajpai, comes across convincingly as a suave and debonair Raja, expressing unending love to Zubeida on one hand, but stoking her jealousy unwittingly with his dutiful loyalty to Mandira. Rekha is the quintessential queen of all she surveys, as Mandira, beautiful, mature and crafty, as opposd to Zubeida’s wide-eyed innocent.

The supporting cast does its job well. Dialogues are apt, and vivid. Music by A.R. Rahman is good, has an old-world feel to it, and fits the genre of the movie well. Realistic and lacking the traditional “happy” ending, “Zubeida” is a quality film and a good watch.

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Review : Kuch meetha ho jaaye

Rating : Bad (1/5)
Genre : Drama
Year : 2005
Running time : 2 hours and 11 minutes
Director : Samar Khan
Cast : Arshad Warsi, Mahima Chaudhary, Sachin Khedekar, Sandhya Mridul, Kanwaljeet, Parvin Dabbas, Rohit Roy, Jaspal Bhatti, Iravati Harshe, Mahima Mehta, Nasser Abdullah, Mrinal Kulkarni
Music : Himesh Reshammiya

Kuch meetha ho jaye : This “sweet” film is sour !

The debut directorial venture of journalist-turned-director Samar Khan, this film features a large cast of lesser-known actors (mostly TV stars) – the exception being Mahima Chaudhary and Warsi. The film starts with an innovative premise, but fails in execution, due to inept acting, hammy dialogues, some overdone, ludicrous characters, and futile gimmickry.

The story revolves around a bunch of passengers stuck in an airport in Ganganagar, while their delayed Delhi-bound plane is being repaired for technical problems. In the first 2 minutes, we are introduced to the characters (through a narrator), and they are :

– The Manager of the airport, the drunk Khan (Warsi), pining for lost love
– His sidekick aka Deputy Manager Dubey (Jaspal Bhatti)
– Young lovebirds Farah (Mahima Mehta) and Rahul (Shravan), deathly afraid of Farah’s dad
– Old lovebirds (Mrinal Kulkarni and Kanwaljeet)
– A pair of bickering newly weds
– A divorced couple with daughter in tow (Khedekar and Harshe)
– An almost divorced muslim couple Gul and Gulaab Khan (Abdullah and Mahima C.)
– The married pilot of the plane (Rohit Roy), and his mistress air-hostess (Sandhya Mridul)
– An Italian born desi (Parvin Dabbas), hunting for a desi bride
– The two prospective canditates for “bride”

After that whirlwind introduction, we are lead onto details of each of these characters, and their problems. These dreary insights are given to us through private conversations between characters. The film drags on, with the flight getting further delayed. Towards the end, the characters having had the much needed time (because of the delay) to workthrough their problems, have all found wonderful solutions to life’s miseries, i.e.; they are one big happy family. Enter Shahrukh Khan, who awakens from deep sleep (intelligent man that !), poses for some photos and calls Farah’s dad in Delhi to smooth the lovers’ path. A state of frothy happiness now achieved for all concerned, the film ends.

There are several problems with this film. The plotline nosedives after the initial start, with virtually nothing remarkable happening. Ridiculous homespun philosophy, and the “all will be well” routine doesn’t make sense in this film. Realism, at which the movie makes a pretense, goes flying out the window, with gimmicky characters, and the contrived happy ending. The plot as director Khan sees it, requires the presence of talented actors; the ones who can deliver in a few moments of screen-time. However, this is not the case here. Hence, the charcters appear shallowly etched, very little screen time given to each inept actor, thus failing to drive home the emotion/pathos.

Good actors are wasted. Mridul as the air-hostess barely has a few minutes. Kanwaljeet as the ludicrously developed Col. Kapoor, and Pravin Dabbas as the Italian born desi are not made use of. New actors Mahima Mehta and Shravan desperately need acting skills. Warsi and Mahima C., Khedekar and Harshe do a decent job, and the rest are about average. Poor screenplay and ill-situated dialogues help the movie plumb the depths of bad film-making. Music is just about OK.

I have now officially assumed martyr status (see the bright light around my head ?) after suffering through this awful movie, just to write this review. Unless you too really need a halo, avoid this one.

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Review : Kya kool hai hum

Rating : Poor (2/5)
Genre : Comedy
Year : 2005
Running time : 2 hrs and 40 minutes
Director : Sangeeth Sivan
Cast : Tushar Kapoor, Reitesh Deshmukh, Isha Koppikar, Neha Dhupia, Anumpam Kher, Shoma Anand

Kya kool hai hum : In your face crudity

Prepare yourself. Suspend all ties to reality, logic, intelligence. Prepare to ingest large doses of vulgarity and comedy of the double entendre variety. This is not a “family” film. This is juvenile nonsense, to put it mildly. Here’s the wishy-washy plot :

Rahul (Tushar) and Karan (Reitesh), are 2 losers, forever in need of money. Expelled from the the school of fashion design where they study, they get jobs at a clothing store, under Boss (Raj Zutshi). Although good friends, Rahul is a simple guy, wanting to make it big as fashion designer while Karan’s ambition is to marry a rich girl and enjoy the spoils.

Rape/murder crimes begin to occur around the city, and the police mistakenly suspects Rahul of being the killer. To catch him they bring in noted psychologist Dr.Screwala (Anupam Kher), who wants to catch the killer red-handed. With police inspector Urmila Martodkar (Isha) he hatches a plan to nab Rahul using Urmila as luscious bait. Thus Urmila transforms from gruff, prone to violence Inspector Martodkar to a soft, sweet, semi-clad girl, trying to entice Rahul to show his true, murderous colors.

Meanwhile, Karan, always on the lookout for rich, wife material, happens to talk to moneyed Kiran, his bosses’s ex-girlfriend. Promising her undying love, he sets out to woo her, and her parents. Her parents however, doubt that Karan is in his right mind, and call on Kiran’s psychologist cousin Rekha (Dhupia) for help. Rekha, however falls in love with Karan. Can she stop him from marrying Kiran ? And does Rahul manage to prove himself innocent ? The rest of the movie resolves these problems.

Direction is adequate as is the acting. The dialogues are an excercise in vulgarity, turning even the most innocent of situations into smut. The film in trying to be “funny”, pokes fun at women and displays extreme insensitivity to violence against women. Suspending reality is one thing, but making ribald “jokes” at the expense of women and violence is going too far.
The story-line is incongrous and riddled with holes. The film is rife with “sponsor” shots, i.e.; shots which feature film sponsors like “spykar jeans” etc. Songs in the second half seem forced, but the music is decent. Juggy D and Rishi Rich make an appearance in the film, singing a song on stage.

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Review : Saathiya

Rating : Very good (4.25/5)
Genre : Romance
Year : 2002
Director : Shaad Ali
Music : A.R. Rehman
Cast : Vivek Oberoi, Rani Mukherjee, Sandhya Mridul, Tanuja, Satish Shah, Sharat Saxena, Swaroop Sampat

SAATHIYA : Romance with a touch of realism !

Saathiya is a well-detailed, beautifully screen-played film, where the director has pretty much crossed all the T’s and dotted all the i’s. He has had help however, since this is a remake of a Tamil film, originially directed by Mani Rathnam, and where Shaad Ali assisted. The romance and ensuing drama (what – no drama in a Hindi romantic flick ??) are realistically done with the help of a good cast, nice-sounding music, and deft direction.The film starts off with hero Aditya Sehgal (Oberoi) waiting at the station to pick up his wife Suhaani Sharma (Rani). Only she doesn’t show up. So we flashback to the time Aditya and Suhaani originally meet, fall in love, and face familial opposition (classwise difference, he rich, she poor). Suhaani is a doctor-in-training while Aditya is working on his own software business. They eventually elope and marry, thereby alienating both families. Residence is taken up in a semi-built-up apartment with nosy landlords to boot. All is well and good, unti life happens and the love starts to sour. To the point where Suhaani thinks about leaving…

The film develops along a believable story-line with normal, everyday characters, give and take a few extraordinary traits. And that for a Hindi film, is a plus-point by itself. It takes a close look at marriage and the bonding (and un-bonding) of the pair, way beyond the first flush of young love. What is so fresh about this movie, is its ability to delicately handle romance, and all its associated highs, without resorting to over-the-top sentimentatlity, and exaggerated emotions. Situations seem realistic, dialogues remain down-to-earth, and its an almost real tale of boy-meets-girl. The “happily ever after” part is sorta up in the air.

Vivek Oberoi does his part well, lending charm and ehuberance to his character. Rani is as always very good. Tanuja as Suhaani’s mom and Swaroop Sampat as Aditya’s come across convincingly, and so do the dads (Shah and Saxena). Sandhya Mridul has a small but effective role as Suhaani’s supportive sister Dina. Music byRehman is good; and the lyrics have been well-adapted to a Hindi version, of the Tamil original. To put it succinctly: a must-watch.

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Reviews listed alphabetically

alpha_order

Below is a list of all reviews in alphabetical order. You could also choose to see the Best movies by genre, or get a list of Best movies by year.

3 Idiots
99
Aa dekhen zaraa
Aaja Nach Le
Aap ki khatir
Ahista Ahista
Ajab prem ki ghazab kahani
Amu
Anthony kaun hai ?
Apharan
Apna sapna money money
Baabarr
Babul
Bachna ae haseeno
Banaras
Bas ek pal
Being Cyrus
Bengali Night
Bewafaa
Bhagam bhag
Bheja Fry
Bhool bhulaiya
Black
Blue Umbrella, The
Bluffmaster
Bride and prejudice
Bunty aur Babli
Chak de India
Chasm-e-buddoor
Cheeni Kum
Chintuji
Chocolate
Chup chup ke
Corporate
D
Deewane huye paagal
Delhi 6
Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal
Dhoom 2
Dil bole hadippa
Dil chahta hai
Dil kabaddi
Dil pe mat le yaar
Don (2006)
Dor
Dostana
Drona
Dus
Dus Kahaniyan
Ek Ajnabee
Ek Chalis ki last local
Eklavya
Everybody says I’m fine
Fanaa
Fashion
Gandhi my father
Gangster
Ghajini
Golmaal
Gulaal

Guru
Haasil
Halla bol
Hari-bhari
Hazaar chaurasi ki maa
Hazaron khwaishen aisi
Hello
Heyy babyy
Home Delivery
Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd.
Hulla
Hum-tum
I see you
Ishqiya(Podcast Review)
Iqbal
Jaane bhi do yaaro
Jaane tu ya jaane na
James
Jaan-e-man
Jab we met
Jhoom Barabar Jhoom
Jo bole so nihaal
Jodhaa Akbar
Johnny Gaddar
Jurm
Just Married
Kaal
Kabhi alvida na kehna
Kabhi khushi kabhi gam
Karam
Kaminey
Kaun
Khosla ka ghosla
Khoya khoya chand
Krrish
Kuch meetha ho jaaye
Kurbaan
Kya kool hai hum
Laaga chunari mein daag
Lage raho Munna bhai
Life in a metro
Love Aaj Kal
Luck
Luck by chance
Lucky
Maalamaal Weekly
Main meri patni aur woh
Main zinda hoon (mini review)
Maine Gandhi ko nahin maara
Maine pyar kyun kiya
Mangal Pandey
Manorama six feet under
Mast
Maqbool
Mera pehla pehla pyar
Mistress of Spices
Mithya
Morning raga
My brother Nikhil
My father’s daughter
My name is Anthony Gonsalves
My name is Khan
My wife’s murder
Namastey London
Namesake, The
New York
Omkara
Om Shanti Om
Other end of the line, The
Oye lucky lucky oye
Page 3
Paheli
Parineeta
Partner
Phir hera pheri
Prem Rog
Pyar ke side effects
Rab ne bana di jodi
Race
Raincoat
Rock On
Ramchand Pakistani
Rules
Rang de basanti
Risk
Rocket Singh : Salesman of the year
Saathiya
Salaam-e-ishq
Salaam Namaste
Sankat City
Sarkar
Sehar
Shakti
Shikhar
Shool
Sikandar
Singh is king
Slumdog Millionaire
Socha na tha
Sorry bhai
Super star
Swades
Swami (2007) (mini review)
Taal
Taare zameen par
Tango Charlie
Ta ra rum pum
Tashan
Taxi No. 9211
Teen Deewarein
Tera mera saath rahe
The film
Traffic Signal
Ugly aur pagli
Veedu (Tamil) mini review
Veer-zaara
Viruddh
Vivah
Wake up Sid!
Waqt
Water
A Wednesday
Welcome
Welcome to Sajjanpur
What’s your rashee ?
Woh Lamhe
Yahaan
Yakeen
Yun hota to kya hota
Yuva
Zeher
Zinda
Zubeida

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Review : Lucky

Rating : Poor(2/5)
Genre : Drama
Year : 2005
Running time : 2 hrs and 17 minutes
Director : Radhika Rao and Vinay Sapru
Cast : Salman Khan, Mithun Chakraborty, Sneha Ullal, Kader Khan, Vikram Gokhale
Music: Adnan Sami

Lucky: Extremely yucky !

As far as films go, this one is an excercise in imbecility. The 2 point rating that I’ve generously bestowed on it is partly due to decent direction, and good music.

The plot is sketchy-thin, with Lucky (Sneha Ullal) being a shy schoolgirl in St.Petersburg, with dad Ravi Baswani employed at the Indian embassy. She is by chance, thrown together with Aditya Sekri (Khan), the son of Indian ambassodor (Gokhale), who is driving down in his speedy roadster from Europe to Russia. The pair must stick together while striving to escape insurgency and terrorists, and ofcourse get romantically involved. Help is on its way in the form of Colonel Pindidas Kapoor (Mithun) who plays the detective out to look for the two.

Ms. Ullal, who is actually (gasp!) playing her age in this movie, resembles Mayuri Kanungo, you know – the actress who made her debut vs. Jugal Hansraj. However, Sneha cannot act, and most of her “acting” on screen comes across as a dumb, coy potrayal of a female not in possession of all mental faculties. Salman is himself, good at comedy, passable otherwise. Mithun is barely adequate. The characters are not fleshed out in depth, anddon’t really sync. up. Take for example, Lucky, the beautiful innocent, who on the spur of the moment, belts out a hip-gyrating, “worldly”, number titled “Lucky Lips”. So much for contrived innocence !

The locales are beautiful, but dialogues inane. Salman gets to be manly and display his biceps. Sneha gets to look pretty and dumb. The film, although technically polished lacks in character, adequate story development and screenplay. Big problems indeed. The music is one of the good things about this film, with catchy numbers and a decent background score. However, it really can’t hold up the film. In totality, a bad film, best avoided.

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Review : Morning Raga

[amazon_link id=”B000G20JQW” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Morning Raga[/amazon_link] Rating : Above average (3.75/5)
Genre : Drama
Year : 2004
Running time : 93 minutes
Director: Mahesh Dattani
Cast: Shabana Azmi, Prakash Rao, Perizaad Zorabian, Lillete Dubey, Nasser, Shaleen Sharma, Vivek Mashru, Mahima Mehta, D Subramanyam, Aditya Lakhia

MORNING RAGA : Musical tale lacks rhythm

Set in the Southern city of Hyderabad, and neighboring villages, this is a tale with musical nuances. The plot although clear and convincing, lascks lustre in execution. Not good enough to be called engrossing, the film does hold your interest.The film starts off with musical Swarnalatha (Azmi) and violin-playing Vaishnavi () and their children boarding a bus to go to the city, where the women are to perfom. The bus however, plunges off a bridge into the river. Vaishnavi, and Swarnalatha’s son are drowned. Swarnalatha in grief now lives in self-imposed exile, believing that it was her ambition that caused the deaths.

Twenty years later, Abhinay (Prakash Rao), Vaishnavi’s son is a music composer, who fed up with composing jingles for ads, quits his job and decides to start-up a music group/band. He meets Pinky/Priyanka (Perizaad) who becomes the group’s singer. As he gathers group members, he also decides to enlist the help of carnatic singer Swarnalatha, his dead mother’s old friend. Can she overcome her fears to help these young musicians define an identity for themselves in the music world ?

The film has two things going for it. Firstly, Ms. Azmi’s great talent, and secondly the story. The story is moving and unfolds interestingly. Shabana Azmi is what she is, a wonderful actress, essaying this role with just as much finesse as she does any other. Perizaad is adequate in her potrayal of Pinky, while Prakash Rao is poor in the depiction of any emotion. I am no fan of Carnatic music, hence the music didn’t leave me wanting me more.

The direction is just about average, and screenplay infirm, causing some scenes to play out like unrealistic rehearsals of the real thing. Dialogues are earthy and banal, no profound sentiments here. The film’s premise offers ample room to explore emotional undercurrents. However the opportunity remains unused, leading to an impression of superficial-ness throughout. Another thing I could have done without are the digs at “modern” women (disguised as comedy ??) as depicted by Pinky’s boutique running mother Mrs. Kapoor (Lillette Dubey).

All that said, this film is still worth watching for the story it tells, without resorting to commercial tricks. So, here’s to an interesting hour and a half.

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Review : Veer-Zaara

[amazon_link id=”B0030QTA3E” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Veer-Zaara [Blu-ray][/amazon_link] Rating : Good (4/5)
Genre : Romance
Year : 2004
Running time : 3 hrs and 12 minutes
Director : Yash Chopra
Cast : Shahrukh Khan, Rani Mukherji, Preiti Zinta, Kiron Kher, Amitabh Bachhan, Hema Malini, Divya Dutta, Boman IRani, Zohra Sehgal

VEER-ZAARA : Romance across the border

This film is a romance through and through. Add a dash of “traditional” values, some humor, vast flowery landscapes (WYSIWYG), melodious music and there you have it. All actors accquit themselves well, and Chopra does a good job of putting the story together. There are logistical flaws however, which is a side-effect of the strong dose of sentimentalism with which Chopra injects each one of his movies.The film starts off with scenes between an aged prisoner in a Pakistani prison (Khan), and a young lawyer Saamiya Siddiqui (Rani) who is bent on ending his unjust imprisonment. The story is revealed by means of halting flashbacks, as the prisoner recounts his tale for the lawyer’s benefit. Through the flashback we realize that the prisoner is Squadron Leader Veer Pratap Singh, an officer of the Indian Airforce, and member of a rescue team. He meets Zaara Hayaat Khan, a Pakistani woman, who has come across the border to immerse her grandmother’s (Zohra Sehgal) ashes in a holy river.

They first meet when Veer rescues Zaara, when her bus has an accident and she hangs from a tree for dear life. As the friendship develops, Veer implores Zaara to visit his Punjab, and meet his parents (Bachhan and Hema Malini). Agreeing, Zaara gets to know him and his family better. Love blossoms, but before our hesitating hero can declare it, in comes Raza, Zaara’s fiance. He has been searching for her, and takes her back with him.

In Pakistan, Zaara cannot forget Veer, and is miserable causing her maid, Shabbo to call Veer, and inform him about the circumstances. Veer drops everything and rushes to Pakistan, ready to marry Zaara . However Zaara ends up marrying Raza, while Veer is arrested by a vindictive policeman on the grounds of being a spy. He has been jailed for 22 years before Saamiya Siddiqui sets out to get justice for him. Can she help set Veer free and unite the lovers ?

The film is set on strong emotional ground and sensitively told. The lead pair sparkles with chemistry, while the supporting cast do their job well. The emotion in certain scenes is a tad overdone, as is the “old age” makeup on both Shahrukh and Preiti. If Preiti is assumed to be in her early twenties when she meets Veer, she surely shouldn’t turn into a doddering old woman in her early 40s (after 22 years). Same goes for Shahrukh’s character.

Bachhan and Hema Malini provide the down-to-earth comic relief, and Kiron Kher and Boman Irani do a beautiful job as Zaara’s parents. Manoj Bajpai as the fiance is as good as ever. Divya Dutta as Shabbo, Zaara’a maid is nauseatingly good. The film hits high emotional notes, often moving (the theater was awash in weeping women viewers), but the dialogues do tend to get excessively theatrical in parts. And of course, as in any other Chopra film, the entire cast is kind and good, and ready to sacrifice personal happiness for the good of others. The music is melodious however, and goes hand in hand with Chopra’s style of direction. An enjoyable watch.

Posted in bollywood, drama, recommended, romance | 1 Comment

The Acronyms Page

ACRONYMS :

STC (Stylized Toothpaste Commercial) : a L-O-N-G story without a real villain, with lots of jingly tunes, and a whole host of characters from one big happy family. And yes it entertains, if you know what you’re getting into. This is not serious path-breaking cinema. This is giving the masses what they want, albeit with a little style and panache. Eg : Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam

WYSIWYG : Computerese and now filmese, for “What you see is what you get”. Applies to very visual films, promising gorgeous locales, and chic, nattily dressed women. E.g. : Yash Chopra films

POC : Piece of crap

POUC : Piece of unadulterated crap

IBN : Ideal Bhartiya Nari ,which refers to female possessing the qualities of servittude, selflessness, sacrifice, ability to cook large meals with one hand tied behind back, and the ability to turn into doormat on command from superior male.

LSM : Long suffering mother, which refers to female, mother of son/daughter, possessing qualities of patience, wisdom, and diseases which involve overt symptoms such as TB etc. Example : Nirupa Roy

TT : Total Timepass. A film you can watch, enjoy, and yet retain nothing of. A good entertainer, usually formula based (good-vs.-evil, revenge motives). Example : Die Hard series, and Adam Sandler movies.

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Review : Bewafaa

[amazon_link id=”B0007ZD76M” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Bewafaa[/amazon_link] Rating : Worse than I imagined (0/5)
Genre : Drama
Year : 2005
Running time : 2 hrs and 25 minutes
Director : Dharmesh Darshan
Cast : Anil Kapoor, Kareena Kapoor, Sushmita Sen, Akshay Kumar, Kabir Bedi, Nafisa Ali, Manoj Bajpai, Shamita Shetty

BEWAFAA : Mindless melodrama !

When I sat down to see this film, I had a sketchy version of the story. I mean, most Hindi movies run on certain standard formulas, therefore forged ahead thinking, “How bad can it get ?”. Apparently very bad. Hence have no qualms about giving this the first negative numerical rating (-5/5) of the year. In short, this movie is a POUC (piece of unadulterated crap). Unless under duress of death or grievious bodily injury, do not attempt to see. Now for your general knowledge, here is the gist of it :Anjali (Kareena) is a Canadian, living with her parents (Bedi and Ali). She is in love with Raja (Akshay), an aspiring musician, but afraid of telling her parents, hence meets him in secret. Anjali’s pregnant didi Aarti (Sushmita) arrives from Delhi to be with her mom during her pregnancy. As she learns about Anjali’s secret romance, she is delighted to meet Raja and assures Anjali that she will convince the parents about Raja. Unfortunately, Aarti dies during childbirth, after delivering twin daughters.

Husband Aditya (Anil Kapoor) arriving for the birth finds his wife dead and is bereft. This is when the parents use their acute intelligence and decide that Kareena will be the perfect mom for the motherless kids. Kareena agrees, marries Aditya and flies off to Delhi, without a word to Raja. She devotes her life to be a mom and wife, but is unable to draw Aditya any closer. So after 3 years of the cold treatment from her husband, when she spies Raja in Delhi, and is pursued by him, she is tempted ….

This movie combines bad acting, an atrocious script, unrealistic situations, hard-to-sit-through dialogues, and incoherent reasoning into one solidly pathetic film. Darshan, through this one film, flaunts his total lack of vision. Anil Kapoor comes into his own as a pure-bred MCP (male chauvinist pig) in the first half of the movie. After the intermission he magically morphs into caring husband and grows a funny bone (its kind of like a bunion). Also meets, per chance, the friends from hell (Manoj Bajpai and Shamita shetty as a gruesome twosome). Bajpai as Aditya’s friend Dil Arora is surreally bad here, and the less seen and said about Ms. Shetty the better.

Akshay Kumar appears with a goatee in the first half (well… all aspiring musicians have goatees, you know). His acting is as always; wooden. Kareena, romances, sings and cries her way through the movie, and none too well at that. Kabir Bedi and Nafisa Ali, are pretty unbearable as the hymn-chanting placid parents. Sushmita Sen is adequate in her teeny-tiny role.

The film flows with one incongruity slapped upon another. Besides which, the director adds to the mix, the jaded old formula of selfless Bhartiya (or Canadian) nari. Music is decent. However, this film is exquisite torture. Inflict it with care.

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