Review : Guru

Note : The edited version of this review appears at “Planet Bollywood”, here.

Rating : Above average (3.8/5)
Genre : Drama
Year : 2007
Running time : 2 hours 45 minutes
Director : Mani Ratnam
Cast : Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai, Mithun Chakraborty, Madhavan, Vidya Balan



GURU is the story of a man who wants to make money. He has the gumption and the smarts to do it too; what I would call a jugaadu person. How he does what he does, and how he progresses from a village lad to a rich mill-owning tycoon, is the movie. The film is fairly biographical, bears a striking resemblance to Dhirubhai Ambani’s life, and appears almost documentar-ish, except for the fact that the director actually takes sides, and chooses to paint the protagonist in heroic and altruistic colors.

Gurukant Desai (Abhishek) is the ambitious son of a small-time school teacher (Rajendra Gupta). After failing at school and earning his pessimistic father’s displeasure he travels to Turkey for work. There he does well, but opts to return home to work for himself. Home, and lacking enough capital to start his own business, he marries his best friend Jignesh’s (Arya Babbar) elder sister for her dowry money. The lady in question, Sujata (Aishwarya) has a tainted reputation, since she has attempted previously to run-away with a lover. Now, “saved” by Guru, she becomes his loving and devoted wife. Guru embarks in his new business venture in the city with his wife and her brother (who is his partner), and thus starts his journey . . .

The movie faithfully follows Guru’s trials, tribulations and successes, portraying Guru has a hard-working, industrious and extremely enterprising man. He succeeds by, as he puts it himself, the bribe and the kick philosophy. Where he can get work done through a “kick”, he lets loose, and where people want salaams, he salutes. He gets work done anyway he can, caring not about his many detractors but concentrating instead on forging ahead. Guru truly embodies the visionary, taking risks, and reading needs and markets correctly when other go astray. Abhishek does a sterling job as Guru, ebullient as the young Guru, and growing convincingly into the middle-aged, sport-a-paunch industrialist.

I’m not Aishwarya’s biggest fan, considering the fact that the lady has minimal acting skills. However, those that she does possess, Mani Ratnam has managed to put to good use, since she gives, what is possibly, the best performance of her career. Abhishek/impending nuptials doing her good, what ? Playing the devoted (and I mean DEVOTED) wife to the hilt, Aishwarya displays a subtlety which left me dumb-founded. Well, wonders never cease ! And since this one actually works to the benefit of the viewer, I hope these acting lessons stick !

Then there’s Mithunda, making a comeback to the acting skills (Mrigaya, Sitara) I was sure he’d forgotten after he donned those Disco dancing shoes. As newspaperman Manik Dasgupta, he looks old and quite the Bengali babu (which is what he’s playing) who, with his journalistic second-in-command Shyam Saxena (a thinned-down Madhavan) is for doing things by the book and thus against Guru’s devious ways. Quite the communist foil to Guru’s capitalist dreams. The duo, through their newspaper “The Independent” expose and malign Guru’s methods. Vidya Balan plays Meenu, Manik’s ailing grand-daughter, who marries Shyam.

The film isn’t boring, and I’m not too keen on bio-pics, but it does lack the oomph, because one can’t really get behind Guru’s cause. I mean I’m all for making money. Money is a good thing. But let’s call a spade a spade, and not hide all our lets-get-rich schemes under the guise of doing “world-good”. I would be happy championing Guru’s cause if he declared that he did it because that was the way to make money, money he wanted for his family and for himself. That’s not a bad thing to want. However, when Guru runs into trouble with the government for resorting to unethical practices, he justifies it as doing it for the people – “My company benefited but so did my shareholders”. Oh please ! No one does it for the share-holders; that is but a side-effect. We know why Guru resorts to bribes. It’s because you cannot be an honest cog in the wheel of a corrupt system. So I would forgive Guru all his misdemeanors , and nod my head in empathy, if he told it like it is. Does Guru really believe he’s altruistic ? If yes, that’s a bit pompous and hard to believe. If not, then Guru is presenting the “altruism” theory as a part of his conniving persona, which doesn’t jell well when you’re trying to believe that he’s a do-gooder with a heart of gold.

I do see director Ratnam addressing societal changes; Yuva dealt with youth action, and “Dil se” dealt with terrorists. So when he develops Guru’s story into a case against the government for throttling enterprising entrepreneurs, you can sort of see where he’s going, and sympathise. When Guru berates the government bureaucracy as working only when oiled with money, you nod your head in agreement. Yes, government rules may be archaic and stupid, but they must be amended and made to work not only for people like the devious Guru, but for the common man on the street.

The direction is good, the screen shots are composed beautifully and Ratnam handles the emotional aspects of the film with an ease only a master possesses. The music provided by Rehman, is OK, although Rehman displays a flair for butchering Urdu words when he sings. The one number which was sheer torture though was “Ek lo, ek muft”.

So, overall this film was good, definitely watchable. Without the pomposity and the self-righteousness, I’d have enjoyed it a whole lot more.

Posted in 2007, bollywood, drama, recommended | 5 Comments

Worst Films of 2006

It gives me great pleasure to put together this list. So much to choose from, so little time. So here goes, in descending order (#1 is worst) the 10 Worst Films of 2006 are :

10. Phir hera pheri
9. 36 China Town
8. Chup chup ke
7. Vivah
6. Banaras
5. Zinda
4. Bhagam Bhag
3. Golmaal
2. Apna sapna money money
1. Dhoom 2

Now the films listed here earn a place because of various reasons :

1. Firstly, the very obvious reason – they are bad ; the worst of the worst e.g. Apna sapna money money
2. They purport to be comedies but descend into mindless and very dumb slapstick e.g. Phir Hera pheri
3. The film is touted as a dream, but really, it’s a nightmare e.g. Dhoom 2

Now, a disclaimer here – I haven’t watched Vivah (yet), but I have it on good authority and from extremely reliable sources that it deserves a spot on this list. And I did watch “36 China Town” but was too lazy (I can’t believe that – me – too lazy ?) to write a review.

Also see Best Films of 2006.

Posted in bollywood, Top 10 | 4 Comments

Review : Bhagam bhag

Rating : Below average (2.6/5)
Genre : Comedy
Year : 2006
Running time : 3 hours
Director : Priyadarshan
Cast : Akshay Kumar, Paresh Rawal, Govinda, Lara Dutta, Rajpal Yadav, Shakti Kapoor , Tanushree Dutta

BHAGAM BHAG : COMEDY’s NADIR

I’ve always liked Priyadarshan’s films – they’re sort of like the last bastion of decent comedy. With “Maalamal Weekly I had hope. With this and previous films like “Phir Hera Pheri” however, he seems to be losing his golden touch. Is this the same man who made the fabulous Virasat ? Seems hard to believe. It’s like the fall of Mahesh Bhatt – from the classy “Saaransh” to the rotten residue spilling over from the Bhatt camp currently. Hai ! That downfall; it’s painful to watch.

So what’s it about ? OK, there’s this drama troupe, comprising of the director Champak Seth (Rawal), main leads Babla (Govinda) and Bunty (Akshay) and Anjali (Tanushree), on their way to London to do shows. Problems arise when the heroine quits because of Babla and Bunty’s crude behaviour, and the troupe must fly sans heroine. Once in London, Babla and Bunty search for a heroine, and find one in suicidal Munni (Lara). But big-time trouble follows because Munni is not who she seems . . .

It’s not like I didn’t know what to expect. I had seen the trailer. And I still went to see it. So, who’s fault was it ? The dumbo director’s for dishing out this kind of trash, or mine for seeing it? Bhagam bhag is chockfull of the comedy one would call time-pass; time-passed badly that is. The comedy that is so eagerly lapped up by the movie-goer – no wonder we seem to be getting more of it.

The story, and I hate to call it that (gives it credibility), is nothing but a product of someone’s bad, impromptu imagination. I can just imagine THAT writer’s block. Ooh, I’m all out of ideas ! Oh my, oh my, what shall we do next ? Let’s let loose a hive of bees into their midst ! Already flaky characters pursued by bees ! Oh, yeah ! That should be money’s worth ! That’ll make the film a hit. And the pity is, is that it will. If not a hit, I’m sure BB will at the very least do pretty good business.

However, at this time of the year, I’m thankful for small mercies. And while this is a poor film, it did have fewer of those sick, vulgar innuendoes which other comedies thrive on. The rest – you know it all – the cardboard-ish characters, the apparent lack of brain-power, the inanity, the stupidity, blah, blah, blah – I could go on forever.

Still, because I’m an ultra-nice person, and it’s the holiday season and I’m feeling not quite my bitchy self (although a couple of more such “comedies” will get me there) I’ll say that the film does have some good points. They are in descending order :

1. The songs : Most of the songs are catchy melodies – especially the “Pyar ka signal” number.

2. Akshay Kumar : The actor looks good (although must get rid of the extra ab fat) even when dressed in dungeon-grunge as he is here, acts well, and displays a flair for comedy.

3. Paresh Rawal : You could dunk this guy in the worst film possible and he’d still come out smelling of roses.

4. Some genuinely funny lines – these are few and far between, but are present.

As in all of Priyadarshan’s movies, this film retains a semblance of order because of the decent direction. The acting, such as is required, is OK. Govinda has aged; he now sports a paunch and a couple of chins, but still retains his ad-libbing glib tongue, thanks to all that valuable experience in David Dhawan-esque films. Rajpal Yadav is reduced to a caricature as the taxi-driver Gullu.

So, unless you are getting free tickets, and have 3 hours to kill, you could do better with your time.

Posted in 2006, bollywood, comedy | 2 Comments

Review : Kabul Express

[amazon_link id=”B000KX0GW4″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Soundtrack[/amazon_link]
Rating : Above Average (3.4/5)
Genre : Drama
Year : 2006
Running time : 2 hours
Director : Kabir Khan
Cast : John Abraham, Arshad Warsi, Hanif Hum Ghum, Salman Shahid, Linda Arsenio

 

KABUL EXPRESS : A BOLLYWOOD-ISED DOCUMENTARY

This is directed by documentary film maker Kabir Khan, so it is expected that it has a documentar-ish flavor to it. Still Khan manages to squeeze in a few light moments in this story of a desolate Afghanistan.

Suhel Khan (Abraham), a journalist and Jai Kapoor (Warsi) his cameramen, journey into Kaabul with the main idea being to get an interview with members of the Taliban. This turns out to be an inordinately difficult task, since firstly the Taliban are in hiding, and secondly the intrepid journalist duo haven’t done their homework – they haven’t a map, research, or any information. Similarly clueless is American journalist Jessica (Arsenio), whom they meet up with. She decides to travel with them, and the trio meander through the ruins of Kaabul with their driver Khyber (Ghum) and his trusty Toyota – Kabul Express.

They finally get their moment when Talib soldier Imran (Shahid) takes them hostage and forces them to turn the jeep towards the Pakistani border. Actually of the Pakistani army, Imran is working for the Taliban under orders from the Pakistani bosses, and now wishes to return to his country. Through the journey the group runs into lots of trouble, but this cements a bond between them, one human to another and exposes the real culprits – countries fighting wars for booty at the cost of their countrymen.

Kabir Khan takes potshots at everyone but India – Pakistan is a heartless nation sacrificing it’s soldiers under American pressure, and the US is corrupted by greed. The locales are shot realistically but the characters don’t stick that well and appear flat. The 2 Indian journalists appear to be greenhorns at war-reporting – which was probably intended. However they also appear dumb, which I’m not sure was intentional. The film as a whole appears to be a very on-the-surface treatment, and doesn’t get down and dirty. I mean, where’s the angst, the emotion , the baggage which comes with a war-torn country ? Where’s the stuff that could have transformed this film into a fantastic movie ? Because it did have potential.

The pace of the film drags in the first half, and the film could have been much tighter. Acting wise Warsi comes out the winner, but then he is an excellent actor. Salman Shahid is also very convincing as a Pakistani soldier in the employ of the Taliban. Hum Ghum is OK. John and Linda can be qualified as dramatically challenged.

The film while different (no songs) and an honest attempt to depict Afghanistan’s plight doesn’t have what it takes to go commercial. There is a difference between documentary and Bollywood and Kabir apparently can’t make up his mind on what genre to play up.

Still, worth a watch.

Posted in 2006, bollywood, drama, thriller | 2 Comments

Best films of 2006

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Here are my Top 5 films of 2006. Also, checkout the Top 10 films of the year !

1. Omkara :

Starring Ajay Devgan, Saif Ali Khan, Vivek Oberoi and Konkona SenSharma among others, this is a very engrossing adaptation of The Bard’s Othello. Vishal Bhardwaj provides the music, co-writes the dialogues and screenplay and directs, and does each task beautifully.

Set in rustic Uttar Pradesh, this is a tale of local gangleader Omi Shukla, and his two right hand men Keshu Firangi and Langda Tyagi, and how their lives are changed by love and jealousy. The characters are etched beautifully, the screenplay is taut and the direction superb. The entire cast (Kareena plays Omi’s love interest Dolly, and Bipasha adds pizazz as nautanki wali Billo Chamanbahar) gives a superlative performance, but Saif shines the brightest as jealousy-ridden Tyagi. The find of the film is actor Deepak Dobriyal who plays the part of Rajju, Dolly’s fiance.

The film has good songs and background music, and Bharadwaj squeezes in 2 catchy item numbers filmed on Bipasha. Pretty fast-paced in the first half Omkara slows down post-intermission, with less of the action and more of the subtle mind machinations. The film has humor and poignant moments interlaced with the action, and had me mesmerized from beginning to end.

2. Rang de basanti :

RDB is best described as a modern day patriotic parable. This film takes a hard look at patriotism, what it means to us and whether it exists at all. What little there is, is ignited in the heart’s of our protagonists and Rakeysh Mehra’s second directorial venture takes us through this awakening. How it happens is pretty radical, but it makes for interesting cinema, and a lot of thought afterwards.

DJ (Aamir Khan), Sukhi (Joshi), Karan (Siddharth) , Aslam (Kapoor) and Sonia (Soha Ali Khan) are 5 Delhi University graduates, hesitating to get out into the real world. Their directionless lives gravitate towards a common goal when a British film-maker comes into their midst. Then they must do what is good and right, and this war like all others, is not pretty.

This film is happy-go-lucky yet earnest. The director portrays well the helplessness of India’s youth in the face of blatant corruption, and lawlessness. Not only do we hear sleeping patriotism rumbling, we also get to hear it and see it; it gets thrown in our faces. In DJ’s sobs “A hundred like me could die, and it would make no difference . . .”, we weep.

Great acting, and excellent direction help this film garner that 5 star rating.

3. Khosla ka ghosla :

Dibakar Banerjee directs his first film like a pro. Although this film is more of a drama than a comedy (which is what I was expecting), it does lace a serious subject with humor.

Kamal Kishore Khosla (Kher) is the typical mild-mannered, service-class patriarch, with 2 sons and a daughter. Problems beset him when he buys a plot of land and it is usurped by notorious land-grabber Khurana (Boman Irani). Unable to get the land back though legal help (police, NGOs etc.), Khosla’s sons decide to take an alternative approach . . .

Kher as Khosla is superb as always but the real scene stealer is Boman Irani who delivers a great performance playing a nouveau-rich, corrupt, land-shark. Wearing typical, “shiny” clothing, a thick gold chain, and slicked-back hair, Irani exudes kamina-pan. Also of mention are Ranvir Shourie (Bunty), who is the quintessential Delhi boy, and Parvin Dabbas, who underplays his character wonder-fully. Raspy-voiced Tara Sharma does good, as does Vinay Pathak.

KKG stands tall on it’s 3 legs, a strong script, great screenplay, and an out-standing cast. Based on true-life situations (land-grabbing) this film tugs at the heart, because Khosla so eloquently represents the common, middle-class man, helpless in the face of a corrupt system.

4. Kabhi alvida na kehna :

I have never been a fan of Karan Johar, because his films seem unreal and his ultra-chic characters seem to inhabit a world other than my own. KANK is the exception though, and actually gets to the meat of the matter. It deals with marital infidelity and tackles the difficult question : does “happily ever after” actually exist ?
Dev Saran (Khan) is a US soccer star, married to fashion executive Rhea (Zinta). Dev’s mom Kamaljit (Kirron Kher) is a caterer of sorts, who’s catering Rishi and Maya’s wedding. Rishi (Abhishek Bachchan) loves Maya. Maya (Rani Mukerji) isn’t so sure, and post-marriage when she meets Dev, she finds a kindred soul. As their respective married lives deteriorate, Dev and Maya have an affair . . .

This film is a bonafide weepie. While some characters are sketched well (Rishi), it takes imagination to believe the others (Maya, Dev).The actors do fairly well, and Amitabh and Kiron Kher, provide able support.

The story is a bit shaky. One disbelieves the motivation for estrangement but hangs in there, because some moments are magically shot, some dialogues blissfully meaningful and much of the emotion permeates through.

5. Pyar ke side-effects :

A nice, differently told tale. Not what you would not expect of a Mallika Sherawat film – it’s not brash, loud-mouthy or showing excessive cleavage. It’s soft, sweet, with an under-lying love theme.

What it’s about, is avoiding marriage. The topic seems like it’s transposed straight from Hollywood; live-in couples who shake in their boots thinking of impending marriage. For Sid Bose (Rahul Bose) atleast, that’s true. For his girl-friend Trisha (Mallika), who’s proposed to him, it’s either the marriage mandap, or the highway. Sid takes the highway. And regrets it . . .

The characters are interesting and quirky; the hero Sid is a DJ, and has a room-mate Nanoo (Ranvir Shourie) who’s averse to bathing. The heroine Trisha is unconventional – she’s taller than her boyfriend and makes more money than him. Vivek Chaddha (Arora) Trisha’s ex-fiance is very successful, multi-talented and annoyingly nice.

This is a happy-go-lucky film, and breezes by you. It’s funny without being slap-sticky or trying too hard. You don’t have to have a high IQ to understand it. And it’s pleasant – no icky villains, or bloody gore or unnecessary violence. It’s also a lot of fun, and worth hoots of laughter.

Other watchable films of 2006 in no particular order, are :

– Jaan-e-man
– Bas ek pal
– Woh Lamhe
– Don
– Ahista Ahista
– Anthony kaun hai ?
– Yun hota to kya hota ?
– Krrish
– Corporate
– Fanaa
– Being Cyrus

Also see Worst Films of 2006. See what happened in 2007 – The Top 10 films of 2007 !

Tags : Best films of 2006, Best hindi movies, Good hindi movies, Top 10 movies

Posted in 2006, Best hindi movies, bollywood, recommended, Top 10 | 14 Comments

Review : Baabul

  • Rating : Above average (3.9/5)
    Genre : Drama
    Year : 2006
    Running time : 3 hours
    Director : Ravi Chopra
    Cast : Amitabh Bachchan, Hema Malini, Om Puri, Rani Mukherjee, Salman Khan, John Abraham, Sharat Saxena, Rajpal Yadav, Parmeet Sethi, Aman Verma

BAABUL : AN EMOTIONAL FATHER-DAUGHTER WEEPIE

To be fair, let me state that I did not like “Baghbaan” – I found it so insufferable that I left it mid-way. This one, although by the same director, I was rather keen to see, because the topic seemed interesting. And then there’s Rani Mukherjee and Bachhan to consider – an awesome acting pair they make.

So, see I did. And liked it. It is in parts, clichéd and trite, and with some dialogues I really wondered whether the director was regressing to his “Baghbaan-ish” self. Thankfully he only regressed in parts, so the movie as a whole came together without too much surplus emotion lapping at the edges.

The kahani which is “Prem Rog” –ish in 2006, is of urban city girl Malvika (Rani), who’s living life painting and selling those paintings (i.e.; successful painter). She meets richie-rich Avinash Kapoor (Salman) on a golf course (yeah she’s painting there – imaginative scripting this), and of course they fall in love, marry, have a kid – the works. Avinash’s dad Balraaj (Amitabh) is the Punjabi patriarch who loves his son greatly and is stricken when that son dies. Of course Malavika is in worse shape, and when Balraaj sees her condition, he resolves to help her overcome it by bringing into her life old friend Rajat (John) . . .

Now, Rani is one of the main reasons I went to see the film, and I must say she comes through on this one. She looks beautiful, acts superbly – she might be the rare breed of Bollywood heroine with beauty and acting skills in equal proportions. Amitabh is the other star, who delivers his (sometimes corny) lines with such aplomb, that I want to get up and applaud, especially towards the end when he so forcefully advocates for the rights of fellow-man/woman over some cold, phony rituals. And Hema Malini (as Balraj’s wife Shobhna), although I like the way she looks even at this age, can’t act. She never could, could she ? “Seeta aur Geeta” didn’t require it that much. A little whip-flicking and you were done. And now a little hand-wringing and those helpless flutters, and she thinks she’s done.

Salman brings to this film good-humor, bonhomie and some comedic moments. Rajpal Yadav is totally wasted – he’s the driver and general help of the Balraj household. Such a fantastic actor and he is forced to demean himself in these 2 bit roles. And Abraham, although he isn’t the best actor in the world, seems so likeable, that he fits his part anyway. I must mention here, that it’s hard to make John look bad – visually that is. But the Chopra camp sure has tried. They put him in a loud yellow (no it’s not off-white) sherwani, at the shaadi and he looks like an absolute bhangi. They also put Amitabh in a pinkish sherwani (designer color blind ?) which doesn’t suit him at all. Rani look gorgeous in her full-sleeved blouse-georgette sari ensemble in one of the dance sequences and Hema dances as gracefully as ever.

The songs were OK, I thought. The one catchy number appears right at the beginning, with repartees between the father Balraj and son Avi. Also of mention is the title number “Kehta hai Baabul” which is heard in refrains in the movie. The almost classical “Bawri piya ki” is also very nice and filmed pretty artistically. Most of the song sequences, which were generally family affairs are filmed slickly, lots of color, glitz and glamour, gorgeous sets, beautifully choreographed moves, and those now ubiquitous long-legged, mini-skirted, foreign dancers. Johar sure made a trend with “Shava Shava”.

Now, the story is about the value of our daughters – be they widows or not. The underlying theme is the perennial struggle of societal customs versus humanity, and how we ought to discard old traditions when they no longer make sense. And although I agree with the general theme here, and pretty much why I also liked the film, I was snorting a little at some of the chauvinistic thinking that accompanied it. Like how Balraj would think that his DIL’s happiness would only be another marriage, or the assumption that the bahu would take kindly to the FIL forcing her into a marriage, ready or not. Or the notion that a woman is “adhuri” (incomplete) without her sindoor (check out John mumbling that mouthful).

The direction is OK. The film tends to flag a little towards the interval, and post-interval the melancholic music tends to get you down. Although this is an entertainer, and a weepie, it tends to get “stretchy” as emotional films are wont to do. I am thankfull that although Chopra milks the father-daugther love for all it’s worth, he’s still not overdone it, Baghbaan style. This time he gets the balance almost right.

I was told that the director initially shot a movie 5.5. hours long and then edited it to it’s present length. This made me deathly afraid that I’d have to endure a film of nightmarish proportions (4 hours ??), because desi directors find their footage so hard to cast-off. However this film ends at a seemly 3 hours – just enough to polish off those pakoras after the interval.

I’m not promising that I’d see this film again, but for one watch, this was worth the money.

Posted in 2006, bollywood, watchable | 2 Comments

Review : Apna Sapna money money

Rating : Worse than I imagined (0/5)
Genre : Comedy
Year : 2006
Running time : 2 hours 30 minutes
Director : Sangeeth Sivan
Cast : Reitesh Deshmukh, Celina Jaitley, Shreyas Talpade, Ria Sen, Anupam Kher, Suniel Shetty, Koena Mitra

APNA SAPNA MONEY MONEY : Descent into stupidity

This is a hare-brained adventure. Torturous to the extreme, that it makes you wonder what (sins) you’ve done to deserve it.

The story is a cop and robber chase, the robber here transporting diamonds (worth 50 crores). Bamboozling their way into the already rickety story-line are a bunch of buffoons – one small-time conman Kishan (Rietesh), one honest mechanic Arjun (Talpade) and his true love Shivani (Riya Sen) and her dad (Kher), one wannabe singer Julie (Koena Mitra), and an assorted cast of village folk, all with hearts of shining gold. There is also, in case you are losing hope, a dog, with admirable “fetching” capabilities.

So, there’s Jackie Shroff as Carlos, a bankrupt and extremely inept mafia don. His associate Sania (Jaitley) is transporting smuggled diamonds via train, but pursued by Inspector Namane (Shetty) and in a crunch, places them in an old man’s bag. The old man is actually trickster Kishan in disguise, and carries the diamonds away unwittingly. Later when a couple of gangs get a whiff of the wealth, there ensues a grand mela of sorts with everyone vying for the loot.

There is promise in the story, and with such a large cast of characters, the possibilities endless. And in the early post-intermission phase it looks like things might come together into a coherent plot. It doesn’t happen though, and the film sags into inanity. The movie also attempts to be “spoofy” – with the digs at “Sarkar”, and all the refrains from Subhash Ghai’s earlier films. However it’s badly done, and the terrible humor (it’s not slapstick, it’s not comedy, it’s insufferable) doesn’t help either.

The director wields his baton loosely. The story-line is sparse and embellished with various un-related happenings, so it’s easy to lose track of the diamond chase. The conversation in the film comprises of lots of crude dialogue and double entendres. The characters are un-believable and inconsistent. The screenplay – non-existent. The situations are out-of-the-world and I mean that unkindly. Take for example the encounter between Kishan and Sania in a second-class compartment on the train. Sania, is sprawled on, of all things a second-class berth, wearing a low necked, slit-up-the-thigh ball-gown in broad daylight. And she sprawls in a fashion which allows even the most casual passer-by an eyeful of leg and cleavage. The script-writer definitely has rocks in his head.

The kind of acting this film requires anyone could do, even Koina Mitra – she’s the worst. And there seems something really odd about her face, because she seems pretty android-ish. She’d do well as the next “Jadoo” (Rakesh Roshan, please take note). As far as “acting” goes, they all mumble the odd dialogue as well as the next person. Jackie Shroff has trouble with the mumbling though – why doesn’t he retire ? Chunky Pande’s career sinks beyond redemption – he acts as a Nepali gangster. Talpade (ooh – bad, bad hair day) and Kher could do better than act in such films. Jaitley and Mitra attribute to the “oomph” factor, while Ms.Sen remains subdued in churidaars. It suits her – she must remain subdued and out of films.

This is, by popular opinion, a movie devoid of common-sense. However, even if you were to banish all logical thought processes from your mind, stop thinking for a while, and lose all sense of reason, this would still be an atrocious, absurd, absolutely non-sensical film – which is why it gets the super-negative rating.

Posted in 2006, bollywood, comedy | 2 Comments

Review : Jaan-e-man

Rating : Above average (3.3/5)
Genre : Romance / Comedy
Year : 2006
Running time : 2 hours 47 minutes
Director : Shirish Kunder
Cast : Anupam Kher, Salman Khan, Akshay Kumar, Preity Zinta

Jaan-e-man : New approach to old romance !

Don and Jaan-e-man released around the same time. And with all the hoopla going around, comparing Don vs. Jaan-e-man, I was expecting well, a fairly decent film. Not that it is not – it’s just that this doesn’t even come close to Don. Don, with all it’s flaws is definitely the better film. On the other hand it’s probably not fair to compare apples to oranges – so will desist on commenting on this any further.

The story is old, and often told and tried in various formulaic Bollywood films. So what makes Kunder’s debut film any different ? The treatment. Kunder takes this ordinary love story, locates it halfway across the world, and gives to it a stage-like musical feel. With all the attention to detail, lighting (watch out for the changing lights to accentuate atmosphere) and effects (shattering glass in the background during high-pitched emotional scenes), Jaan-e-man separates itself from the usual, weepy, dramatic love stories.

Suhaan Kapoor is a down-and-out actor, divorced from wife Piya (Preity). He also has huge alimony problems, and is sorting these out with his uncle Boney (Kher as a dwarf), when the solution to his problems presents itself. The solution is Agastya Rao, an ex-collegemate who still pines for Pia inspite of the fact that he knows she loves someone else. Suhaan and Boney think that if they can get Piya hitched to financially successful Agastya, Suhaan’s alimony woes will be over. Thus Suhaan plays Cupid (albeit hidden) and gives Agastya an education on winning Piya’s love. However there’s another contender for Piya’s affections . .

Now with the story going the way it was, it struck me that (call it weird) that this could be a “Sixth Sense” spin-off, with Salman being the ghost – dead husband looking after living ex-wife etc. However, it didn’t work out that way, but it could have added an interesting surprise to the whole love tale.

While I could call the film mediocre, there were some scenes that were really touching and well-done, like the one where Salman in New York phones up his uncle to tell him that the mission is accomplished, and weeps. Preity has not much to do save look pretty and emote an occasional scene. Akshay Kumar, playing the part of nerdy intellectual Agastya, goes to town with his geeky laugh. He looks good, but then he always looks good. This is Salman’s film, where he gets to do it all, sing, dance, romance, weep – the whole works. He does it well too. However I must say that with increasing age and girth, the same old, cutesy sighs and gestures don’t sit as well on him as they used to. Kher has an annoying role – that of the dwarf Boney. Boney’s super-sensitive about being a “bauna”, and the film has several un-PC jokes about this, which I found un-funny and off-color. What is it with desi directors – you’ve only got to be fat, short or gay and it’s open season on you ?

The songs are OK, two being outstanding. The script and screenplay are average, and the story as I said was old and worn. Inspite of Kunder’s innovative approach, I’d still rate this film average. I mean, everything’s good and all, but the movie doesn’t give me the warm, fuzzy feeling that romantic flicks should. It could be the actors (Salman’s running over people on the road doesn’t much endear himself) or the general inspid been-there-done-that feel the film has.

An OK watch , but wait for the DVD.

Posted in 2006, bollywood | Comments Off on Review : Jaan-e-man

Review : Dhoom 2

Rating : Below average (2.9/5)
Genre : Thriller
Year : 2006
Running time : 2 hours 45 minutes
Director : Sanjay Gadhvi
Cast : Hrithik Roshan, Abhishek Bachchan, Bipasha Basu, Aishwarya Rai, Uday Chopra

DHOOM 2 : DISAPPOINTING !

This is quite an unbearable film. Halfway through it, I’m waiting for the film to pick up and show some promise. But it doesn’t; it gets worse. If you cringed when in KANK, Karan Johar fawned over Shahrukh Khan, it’s massive cringe time for you (me, I curled up in a tiny ball in my expensive $8 seat) – because Gadhvi fawns over Hrithik and Bachchan and Rai. And not once either – he goes in for this repeat adulation thing where he camera kisses them again and again and again, actually every-time they appear on screen, until I’m sick to the gills of a hero in slow motion being thrust adoringly down my throat. The kid seated in the row ahead of us keeps crying, and I know how he feels.

I’m thinking it’s actually nice to be watching a new movie on Thanksgiving Day, with all the malls closed etc. And a day before it releases in India too – fancy that ! So, of course with all the hype, the hall is pretty full for an afternoon show, and as we leave the theatre at the end of the movie, I hear that the 7 o’clock show is sold out. What I’d like to do is put up a big sign, urging all the poor sods in the ticket queue to save their money; only I think the theatre owner might have a fit.

Mr. A (Roshan) is the perfect thief pursued by ACP Jai Dixit (Bachchan) and his pal sub-inspector Ali (Uday Chopra). Rai plays Sunehri, wannabe-master-thief who wants to team up with Mr. A. Rimi Sen has a walk-on part as Dixit’s pregnant wife Sweety. And Bipasha Basu has a double role, one as ACP Shonali Bose (they call her Sho) helping ACP Dixit catch Mr. A. and the other as Shonali’s twin sister and Brazilian bikini-clad beach babe Monali (exercise to the reader : do they call her Mo ?).

There’s precious little going on in the film. I mean they literally don’t do anything. There is some action, but it’s done primarily to idolize the star (what he’s wearing, how high he jumps etc.) who’s doing it rather than move the film ahead. There is 1 poorly-done fight sequence, no suspense, no drama and no pizzazz really. Repetitive shots of smug hero/heroines showing them contemplating/smirking do not a film make. It’s not fun watching anyone think. For more than 2 minutes.

The story is a spindly little thing on stilts. Very weak and shaky. Not to mention boring. The background music is incessant – and it’s not very good either. Every 2 minutes of dialogue is followed by annoying background music and some more fawning adulation of some or the other character. We see Rai, Bachhan, Roshan, Basu (take your pick) in slow motion, from different angles, in different clothes, in different pouts and in different stages of hirsutism (the latter for Abhishek only). I mean, I can handle adulation, love, obsession even, but let’s pin all the above onto a decent story please. Disjointed pieces of fawning adulation, stuck together, do me no good. The acting is pathetic and the dialogues are as cheesy and corny as they get. The story, such as it is, is featherweight (poof ! and it’s gone !) and the characters aren’t developed at all. The “depth” of the film thus is akin to that of the Yamuna in a Delhi summer.

The director in his desire to be “cool” gets his characters to talk affectedly. Of course Aishwarya is naturally “affected” so this doesn’t make a difference in her acting. In an effort to be even more cool, they whiz about on fancy motor-bikes, roller-skates and speed-boats. Since Mr. A is a super-whiz he messes around with various robotic gadgets, all of which appear to be more intelligent than any character in the film. Hrithik does try to act but his character is so pathetically developed that I didn’t believe it (yeah, inspite of those wash-board abs). Abhishek does act but has far too much hair on his face to deliver coherent dialogue. I know that without “the bearded look” he looks like a kid, but too much hair (as in this case) reminds me unpleasantly of Neanderthal man. The hair on the face – a matter of fine balance you know.

Miss Basu and Ms. Rai are devoid of any hair (except on the head) that I could see and reveal slim, tanned limbs in short shorts and mini-skirts. Bipasha can’t act but that doesn’t matter here as her role is of no consequence to the story. Rai can’t act either, and sadly (for the poor movie-goer) it does matter because her character actually does stuff. As far as Uday Chopra is concerned, the less said the better.

Gadhvi has not made a film; I believe he’s made a style statement(s). Do I want to spend my money watching a 3 hour long (bad) style statement, with a weak story, shallow characters, bad editing (did they even have an editor ?), poor screenplay, uninspiring music and non-actors to boot ? I think not.

This film actualy reminds me Karam, where the director was so busy polishing his technique, he forgot he was making a film for commercial consumption. To summarize, this is one bad film. Be warned – if you thought Dhoom was OK, Dhoom 2 is much, much worse.

Watch the trailer instead, it’s free and it’s better !

Posted in 2006, bollywood, thriller | 17 Comments

Review : Woh Lamhe

[amazon_link id=”B000K6FU5E” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Woh Lamhe[/amazon_link]Rating : Above average (3.6/5)
Genre : Romance
Year : 2006
Running time : 2 hours 10 minutes
Director : Mohit Suri
Cast : Shiney Ahuja, Kangna Ranaut, Purab Kohli, Shaad
Randhawa, Sandeep Sikand

WOH LAMHE : A wistful love story

I have watched 2 films of Kangna Ranaut – Gangster and this one, both sad story-lines where Kangana has a character steeped in depression or some other condition which cause her to shed many tears. While I still believe that the lady has no screen presence, she can act. I do wish he’d take roles of a different genre though – like happy, running-around-the-tree singing songs type of characters, and then her acting abilities (to do different roles) could be judged better. Although, note here that I’m assuming that she’d be offered those kinds of roles by people other than the Bhatt camp. I can see her as the heroine’s sister in a major production – I just can’t see her as the heroine.

Kangana suits the role in “Who Lamhe” – sadness-wise, and by that I mean that she looks pretty melancholy. Hers is a thin face, not very beautiful, but not plain either – small eyes, non-pouty lips – the opposite of luscious. Not a face for a happy-go-lucky romp of a film – which it’s not really, so she comes across believably. Who Lamhe is loosely based on the story of Parveen Babi, and Babi to my mind was one of the most beautiful and glamorous actresses to grace the Indian silver screen. Kangana falls short on the glamour bits, but being the current Bhatt camp muse, does what the director tells her and does it decently enough. This is a symbiotic relationship, because I’m sure the Bhatts must be over-joyed that they’ve found a heroine who’s passable in looks and dramatic talent, and will shed clothes on demand.

Parveen Babi died alone and young after ending her filmi career, a wreck of a woman, and with not an ounce of her famous beauty. I remember seeing her pictures in Stardust when she accused Amitabh Bacchhan of bringing about her downfall, and even said that he had influence with the President of the United States. Her photo shows a not-slim woman, with puffy skin, and frizzy hair – I wouldn’t have recognized her had I seen her on the street. Seeing the film, and recognizing that Babi was mentally ill, fills me with pity for her character in the film.

Sana Azim (Kangana in the film) is a famous movie actress, prone to hissy fits when insecure, and imagines people who do not exist in real life. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, she’s also surrounded by people who are after her money – her conniving mother and her abusive boyfriend Nikhil (Shaad Randhawa). She meets struggling director Aditya Garewal (Ahuja) and is drawn to him. Aditya who initially uses her also, to gain free publicity, begins to fall in love with her, and is the only one who genuinely cares for her in her schizophrenic state. Aditya who has abandoned his mentally sick father to a sanatorium, and is weighed down by guilt at his death, decides to redeem himself by freeing Sanaa from the clutches of her greedy family and friends. However, the path to his selfless love, is a rocky road . . .

Shiney Ahuja is a very good actor, and although I’ve liked him in other films (Hazaaron Khwaishen Aisi, Karam), in this one, he does the best job ever. I feel him torn between his happy, uninvolved existence and the mess that is Sana’s life. And I feel bad for him and Sana, and the twisted sense that their love makes in a money-grubbing world, so I must give credit to the director for depicting a touching love story. Tragic love story, yes, but still a love story. Kangna, as I’ve said above is apt for the moody-broody roles. Shaad Randhawa as her boyfriend is OK, while Purab Kohli does well as Aditya’s friend and business partner. The actress playing Sana’s Mom is very believable too. Sandeep Sikand who has a small role as Sana’s make-up man “Hamida” appears briefly but is noticed. And Masumeh who plays Rani, Sana’s “imagined” alter-ego, looks gorgeous and appropriately psychotic – very well done. Also of mention is the actress who plays “Salomi” Aditya’s doctor friend who takes the hapless couple in, when they have no-one to turn too.

I didn’t particularly notice the songs, except the very catchy “Kya mujhe pyar hai ?” sung beautifully by KayKay. The background music’s OK I guess. The direction is good, but you must prepare yourself for a lazy pace. Suri takes his time giving the right touches to his story, and that I think makes it more believable. So, it’s a good film. Just know that it’s depressing and melancholy and not exactly bursting with joie-de-vivre.

Posted in 2006, bollywood | 1 Comment